EXTRA CREDIT: Harold and Maude (1971)

Harold is a young man intrigued with death, who drifts away from the life that his detached mother prescribes for him, and develops a relationship with an old woman named Maude. Harold meets Maude, a 79-year-old woman who shares Harold's unique hobby of attending funerals. He is entranced by her quirky outlook on life, which is bright and excessively carefree in contrast with his own morbidity. Harold regularly stages elaborate fake suicides, attends funerals, and drives a hearse, all to the annoyance of his mother, socialite Mrs. Chasen.

As they become closer, Harold announces that he will marry Maude, resulting in disgusted outbursts from his family, psychiatrist and priest. When Maude's 80th birthday arrives, and Harold throws a surprise party for her. As the couple dances, Maude tells Harold that she "couldn't imagine a lovelier farewell." He immediately questions Maude as to her meaning, and she reveals that she has purposely taken an overdose ofsleeping pills and will be dead by midnight. Restating her firm belief that 80 is the proper age to die. Harold rushes Maude to the hospital, where she is treated unsuccessfully and dies. In the final sequence, Harold's car is seen going off a seaside cliff, in one last faked suicide with the final shot revealing Harold standing calmly atop the cliff, holding his banjo.

I found Maude's love affair with life, and the fact that she was able to embrace both the dark and light sides of human existence gave a balanced outlook for her character. Maude knew that to understand the beauty of everything, you must understand the cycles of life, life, death, rebirth. Creation and destruction. Contrasting with the morbidity and dark outlook on life that Harold had.

"Maude: A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life." I think this sums up Maude's attitude to life, just to be breathing doesn't mean you are living, and if you are not living then you may as well be dead. "Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room." I feel as though she is referring to an afterlife when she talks about 'the locker room' here. A possibility for her love for life may be that she is scared about her afterlife. She feels she needs to live life to the fullest as when she dies what is she going to be able to say that she has done with her life? I think this is prevalent in most people's attitudes to life as there is always a search to do something 'meaningful.' Whether this is to live life to the fullest or out of arrogance is each to their own.

Maude is constantly showing no fear of death, but rather an embracing attitude towards to it. "Grab the shovel, Harold."

Before Harold meets Maude, he is a disturbed individual with no friends. But Maude gives him the release from himself that he needs in order to find peace with himself. His obsession with death is a release from reality, as he feels like an outcast and would rather be seen as an outcast than not accepted for himself. When Harold says "I haven't lived. I've died a few times" it's obvious that he isn't in denial about being an outcast, realising that living through his obsession with death isn't really living at all.

"Maude: [at her 80th birthday party] I couldn't imagine a lovelier farewell!

Harold: Farewell?
Maude: Oh, yes, dear... My 80th birthday.
Harold: But you're not going anywhere... are you?
Maude: [long pause] I took the tablets an hour ago. I'll be gone by midnight."

Maude's short presence in Harold's life was significant enough to change his outlook on life, and make him take a more 'happyy-go-lucky' approach. At the end of the film Harold is seen with a spring in his step and playing the banjo, just lie Maude advised. Harold and Maude learnt from each other. Harold learnt through her death to love and let go of darkness, and to start living.

There is freqeunt imagery in the film which alludes to aspects of death.

For instance, when Maude is carried into hospital on a stretcher she is wheeled through big white doors and she reaches out for Harold. Which is symbolic of 'seeing the light' and the way death pulls you away from loved ones without you having a choice.

The ending, with Harold driving the hearse off the cliff is symbolic of him letting go of blackness and morbidity in his life, and because of Maude's presence in his life has learnt to replace the darkness with a lighter, more embracing attitude. He no longer has to hide behind the lurking shadow of death but can truely live.

Independent Research B

Approaching this project I wasn't sure what to do as I am an agnostic believer. I could never pigeon hole my beliefs to just one set religion, but have respect for people who do as I think it is a comforting thing to feel as though we understand the vast universe we are in a little bit more.

I decided to consult the atheists view on afterlife, as on first thought I would be sure that atheists would be the group of people who believed that when you are dead, you are dead. There is no romantic floating up to heaven, or you body being dead but your soul being eternal, but i was wrong.

'The Atheist Afterlife" describes an afterlife that is consistent with known law and requires nothing more than physics. It demonstrates that an afterlife is possible based on reason, and supports the probability of an afterlife with an original and testable support for dualism – the proposition that our mind and body are separate. The Atheist view on afterlife is very much from a philosophical viewpoint. It makes the concept of God irrelevant and removes the ‘God of the Gaps’ completely. It attempts to prove that many religious conceptions of an afterlife are false, including the concepts of judgement, selectivity based on belief, and the existence of Heaven and Hell.

Atheists believe that when you pass, you, in 'words' will cease to exist. The concept of nonexistence can be compared to the lack of existence of a human before being conceived or brought into the world - The universe was here before you were born and will continue when you are gone.

Whatever personal belief you hold will dictate what you think will happen to yourself or others - but what we do know to be fact is that we do not know what happens after death. We may think we know (in the form of theories, practices, beliefs, etc) but we do not really know, since you are alive, and whatever you believe will happen, might only happen after your death.

Independent Research A

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-13014867

This article talks about a family not being able to afford a burial because the costs were too high, so against their dead mother's wish, they had to cremate her body. She describes how she had been "held over a barrel" by the local authority, and the cost was just unfortunately too high. This culminates the uncomfortableness of this subject for me as I feel the emotions are completely removed for some funeral directions, and the death of a mother, brother or even a husband becomes a money making opportunity. "In the end we talked it through and decided she wouldn't have wanted us to pay that, she would have been horrified at the charge." The fact that they had to go against their deads mother's wishes seems immoral and twisted to me.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4622724.stm

This second article talks about the rise in burial and cremation costs in recent years. "A shortage of cemetery plots and more expensive coffins have helped add £1,250 the cost of the average burial, the survey said." As most popular after death care burial trumps cremation in the price range because of the added costs of the plot, upkeep and handling costs etc. It seems manipulative and corrupt that people would take advantage of grieving families; "It is a purchase most people make under distressed circumstances and so they are less concerned about comparing prices as they might well be in the normal run of life"

Although you cannot generalise such a broad profession, I feel as though many many of the literature and media surrounding the business accuse many undertakers to be corrupt and simply out to make money. "Seven out of ten funeral directors surveyed did not show the cost of a grave in their burial quotes, while one in three did not routinely mention the cost of cremation."

HMW 40 Insights from Book part 3

Whilst sipping on a cocktail at a costume party I clocked on to someone in the corner of the room sharing tales of hippies in Berkley and recalling 'this time a woman gave birth to her child in the back of an old Ford in the rain.' Only one person knew that story. Could it be? Surely not. Wait a second. Yes, yes it was. The person standing in a giant baby costume was indeed Peggy Vincent. Enthralled by her chronicles of a midwife throughout the decades, her no nonsense approach to birth fascinated me, so I decided to introduce myself. "Nice diaper" "Excuse me?" she replied, bemused at this girl standing infront of her in a wonder woman outfit. "Don't worry.." embarassed I attempted to change the subject. "Hey, I just wanted to thank you for writing Birth." She smiled, I think I was forgiven for the awful joke. I continued- "Your 'childbirth is normal until proven otherwise' approach was refreshing. I loved the way that you reinforce that childbirth is unexpected, and mainly that it is different for every woman, as I feel as though most people pigeon hole their views. And your first hand experience was an added bonus that made me approach childbirth completley differently." She looked bemused I had spouted such an organised, almost thesis-like statement to her with a gold crown and red wellies on. "Really? Well wonder woman what were the most important or effective parts for you?" I took this as a challenge and knew it had to be good. "Well..." I paused for what seemed like emphasis but was really a moment to try and sound intellegent. "Well in the last third of the book, where you are discovering what it is like to be a mother and a midwife, and you reminsce about your stories of women through your time as a midwife. But let me be more specific-" At this moment Peggy was sipping on champagne through a baby bottle, which was not only very weird, but distracting to say the least. I started of with simple flattery "I love your frank, honest way of writing, afterall if you cannot be straight to the point and have no inhibitions in a business, midwifery should be it. For example, i've forgotten the page number but-" I was interrupted by a distracted Peggy who was patting herself down and murmuring to herself. "Aha!" she exclaimed as she pulled a copy of her book out from inside of her giant diaper. Reclutant as I was to take it from her she was pushing it in my hand, and eventually I caved. "Yes so, as I was saying, when you say '.. the womans eyebrows had shot up when she heard me say "vagina" and "placenta" without whispering' I thought it displayed the difference in compassion between doctors and midwives. I feel as though you demonstrate a emotional connection that goes far beyond a cold 'in and out' approach. And that would be on page 153. She looked surprised but impressed. So I continued yet again, high on the knowledge of a book I never knew I had. To me, the main point that you were trying to get across was that of "Childbirth is normal until proven otherwise." This was a powerful message to me as I feel as though there is a certain amount of fear instilled in pregnant women. That of things going wrong, the pain, horror stories almost. Your approach was refreshing. I agree that women need to be proud and not afraid of their bodies. The human body is a powerful thing that we often do not give enough credit, and I feel as though the dependance on hospitals and drugs has undermined the natural process that has worked for thousands of years. She nodded approvingly. This time the baby bottle was down. "One more thing.." I continued, hoping she wasn't getting too bored with my incesant talking. "On page 187 you say 'I felt like offering drugs to a woman during labour sent a message she wasnt handling labour well, and i didn't want to send that message.' I felt like this reinforced how there is a much deeper sense of connection and emotion with a midwife than doctor, as the woman feels reliant on the midwife to guide her through an emotional experience, rather than the doctor forcing drugs on an uncomfotable woman in labour in the hospital." She was smiling enthusiastically, but I knew I need to stop and let her talk. But to my surpirse she encouragingly asked "But what could I have done to make this book better?" I thought about this one, after all I didn't want to insult her, but thought I should stop arse kissing for at least a brief minute. "Well lets be honest your text sought to provide narratives, historical analysis, journalistic analysis and policy analysis from the perspective of a midwife for the book reading public to better understand pregnancy and birth in our culture. Given your book and the aim, the best advice I would give you for a 2nd edition would be to give the reader what they haven't already seen. Mix in a little statistical evidence along with the anecdotal. Or how about comparing birth stories of the US with that of different countries? Or maybe exploring the change in the attitude to natural childbirth since you published the book in 2003?" This time she looked a little less accepting of a girl in blue hotpants with stars on them giving her writing advice... "But I don't want you to think I'm criticising! I apreciate the immense amount of labour you dedicated to this important issue and particularly for making me think about the scrutiny people come under for their decision towards childbirth. There is not a one size fits all policy and nobody should be discriminated against. Not only this but also the emotional connection a midwife develops with her patients, and how much more emotionally invested you are in them generally than doctors. In fact, I am likely to consider a natural birth in the future as a result of your book. But hopefully not too soon!" She laughed and replied "Thanks! talking to you gives me hope about our future as a soicety! But Wonder Woman, you should really try not to sound like your reciting an essay in the future!" Finally, she winked and slowly walked away, sipping from her baby bottle on the way...

HMW 39 - Insights from book part 2

'Baby Catcher' by Peggy Vincent

Scribner

2002

1. In 'Baby Catcher' Vincent describes more of the ups and downs of homebirth, wehreas in 'The Business of Being Born' the filmmaker only depicts home births as being 100% positive. Also, the doctors try to persuade patients to comply with their desires, rather than informing them fully of the options.

2. To me, the major insight of 'Baby Catcher' is that a natural birth is a life changing experience that simply cannot be recreated by a hospital experience. "She sprawled on the edge of the bed,grunted once, and pushed her baby's head out." The romanticised way in which Vincent recalls her natural birth stories shed an illuminating light on the spiritual aspect of birth, and create an image that is incomparable to a hospital birth.

The fact that Vincent's evidence is anecdotal gives it an extra edge, as it is real stories from real women, but I cant help but wonder, 'ICBTS'? Whilst Vincent gives the odd sign of a non spiritual, idyllic scenario, there is always the prominence of an underlying triumph. I don't agree with the one size fits all theory, and whilst most of her stories are in the hippie era when the rejuvination of natural birth was erected I think that some women dont want to go through the pain, for there own reasons, and more of this opinion should be explored.

3.

5 Interesting aspects of pregnancy or birth:

• The spirituality factor of birth and why it does not occur so strongly in non natural births (according to Vincent)
• Hormones released during birth, Oxytocin and how and why it has been artificially mirrored in the drug 'Pitocin'
• Why doctors constantly change the rules and guidelines, ie. how long you can go overdue
• How a 'perfect' birth can affect the mother in comparison to a 'troubled' one
• The emotional investment comparison between doctors and midwives

4. "Women's bodies have a near perfect knowledge of childbirth; it's when their brains get involved that things can go wrong." -Peggy Vincent

I agree with this quote completley, and think that it perfectly sums up what Vincent is trying to get across in her book. I do not understand the mentality of inducing a pregnant woman if she is a few days overdue, isn't it common sense that the baby will come out when it is ready? I also think that this is the main arguement for natural childbirth. Woman delivered perfectly healthy babies for centuries the natural way before hopsitals and epidurals, so why now do we so desperately need the medical intervention? I think that one aspect of the reliance on hospital care is the terror that is instilled in women in our culture. Pregnant woman are overwhelmed with the horror stories of 'a friend's friend' who had a nightmare during birth, or the home birth gone wrong, rather than filled in on everything from the start.

HMW 38 Insights from pregnancy and birth part 1

The book is mainly complied from the author's, Peggy Vincent, stories about being a professional 'babycatcher' stemming from an inital meeting with a rebellious patient.

The main question the book tries to answer in the first 100 pages would probably be 'Why is natural childbirth superior to a hospital experience?' It answers this by giving Vincent's real life experience and stories of joyous natural birth experiences, with the occassional horror story of a hospital birth.
The fact that Vincent has worked in the childbirth area for so long gives the book credibilty as first hand experience is alot more effective to a reader. Although natural childbirth is great in theory, and obviously we had dealt without the hospital for intervention for centuries before, I am still a firm believer that it is up to the women and depends alot upon circumstance. I also think that this book (so far) seems to be slightly biased. It is fine to have an opinion, but supplying the reader with an equal amount of information and having them make the decision would be more refreshing than shoving an opinion down the readers throat.

Throughout the book Vincent demonstrates the reasons for natural childbirth, and the horror stories that working in the profession of childbirth can give you. She is a firm believer that childbirth is a natural process that the body is meant to be experienced naturally, and if done right, can be an enjoyabe and life-altering event.
Whilst I agree in theory, I feel like I don't have the authority or right to judge whats right or wrong in this situation as I feel like you should only do what feels right for you at the time. Whilst we can judge everything about each other I think childbirth is one of the only things that should be an acception. Everything depends upon circumstance and as Vincent agrees in the book, you can never 100% plan for childbirth, as at the end of the day, it will go completley differently.

5 aspects that deserve attention:
1. Hospital vs Home - Pros AND Cons rather than one sided information
2. How religion affects the above. Is there a trend among certain religious groups and birthing experience?
3. When did America come to be a generation of doctors, and switch from midwives?
4. Why the backlash against midwives? They were put in place for a reason.
5. Is there judgement around natural childbirth? By doctors, friends, family, yourself?

As said above I think Vincent's use of first hand experience gives the book an extra edge. Rather than just using statistics, which would be inappropriate for the topic, she uses stories about women and herself. Which eventually make the reader feel a connection with the author, resulting in them probably agreeing with her point more.

HMW 37 Commenting on Birth Stories

Jayson - BLOGGER WONT LET ME COPY AND PASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jared - ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Lina - ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(I did comment on them though)

Birth Stories

The nurse came bursting into the room- "Excuse miss, you have visitors. Shall i let them in to see you?"
"I don't even have my make up on yet! Give me some time and then you can let them in."
The nurse, who coincedentaly didn't have a scrap of make up on her face begrudgingly walked away. Laura sighed and took the Lancome foundation out of her pink make up bag and applied it to fresh face. She knew that everyone would have a camera and she wanted to look her best. No one wants to look back on the photos from one of the best days of their life looking pale and tired. No. Defintely not tired. Need. More. Conceler.

No longer than 5 minutes later the nurse came bursting back into the room declaring that she was going to let the visitors in as they were getting impatient- that was sure to be Laura's Mum, Ann. This nurse had obviously never done her make up in her life before as Laura hadn't even finished her mascara yet. She succumbed to the over bearing nurse that probably thought Rimmel was a car manufacturer, and let her family come in.

Everyone cooed over the little brown cherub that lay in Laura's arms. With a mane of thick black hair and long eyelashes she was everything Laura had dreamed of. From the moment she was born, Ruby was an observer. A busy body. Her huge brown eyes wide open. She wanted to see everything that was happening around her. And to this day she is still the same.

My subject was young when she was pregnant, 18, and 19 when she eventually gave birth, and i think this was a major impact on the process. She was heavily influenced by everyone else's advice as she was young and though that this was the best way to deal with it. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she should go to hospital, rather than opting for a home birth as that was the norm. Although it is also the norm now I think that it has become more popular recently. Although maybe it is the most popular choice for a reason.

Hospital vs home, and do age and time have a difference on the decision?

The immediate thought i have when i think of birth is the process and how it is depicted on tv. How painful it truely is, and whether the melo dramtic screaming and panting is truely necessary. What also comes to mind is how everyone describes it as 'beautiful.' As we all know the process is far from beautiful so it must be the idea of bringing new life into the world rather than the excecution that everyone is banging on about. The visual aspect when I think of birth is far from a pretty one. Probably influenced by what I see on tv, I imagine a woman panting with beads of sweat flurrying down her forehead, screaming at her husband and everyone else who is in earshot.

In the age of reality tv I also started to think, will it become part of everyday tv? Todays culture is nosy one. Nothing is too much for us to know anymore, nothing is private anymore. Will we start to see live births? Although we have already started to see it it makes me sad to think thjat nothing is private anymore. With everything from marriages to births being documented on tv and the internet, what are we keeping sacred?

HMW 30 - Comparison of UK and US Healthcare

Possibilites

- Interview Me and D differences about experience in hospitals?

Research-

- Ecoli in hospitals in UK, comparison US disease?

-Dying on tables UK

-Waiting lists UK

-Comparison between public and private healthcare UK

-Examples

-Payment of nurses

Healthcare in England is mainly provided by England's public health service, the National Health Service, that provides healthcare to all permanent residents of the United Kingdom that is free at the point of use and paid for from general taxation. Since health is a devolved matter, there are differences with the provisions for healthcare elsewhere in the United Kingdom.^[1]

^{The National Health Service (NHS) is free at the point of use for the patient though there are charges associated with eye tests, dental care, prescriptions, and many aspects of personal care.}

^{The National Health Service Act 1946 came into effect on 5 July 1948.}

^{private insurance, but it is used by less than 8% of the population}

^{The NHS is largely funded from general taxation (including a proportion from National Insurance payments).[3] Most of the expenditure of The Department of Health (£98.6 billion in 2008-9[4]) is spent on the NHS.}

NHS Constitution

The NHS provides a comprehensive service, available to all irrespective of age, gender, disability, race, sexual orientation, religion or belief, respecting their human rights.

Access to NHS services is based on clinical need, not an individual’s ability to pay (except in limited circumstances sanctioned by Parliament).

The NHS aspires to the highest standards of excellence and professionalism to provide high quality care that is safe, effective and focused on the patient experience.

NHS services must reflect the needs and preferences of patients, their families and their careers.

The NHS works across organisational boundaries and in partnership with other organisations in the interest of patients, local communities and the wider population. The NHS is an integrated system of organisations and services bound together by the principles and values reflected in the Constitution

HMW 28 COMMENTS

As usual it won't let me copy and paste into this box so I print screened them..

HMW 29

Facing Terminal Illness- from my understanding I thought that there wasn't a 'normal' way to deal with facing a terminal illness. I thought that it was one of those things that had to happen to you, and since reading literature and hearing a guest speaker face it only enforced this theory. "Tuesdays with Morrie" is a piece of literature facing this exact issue. It follows Morrie through his journey on coming to terms with his terminal illness, and eventually, his unfortunate death. It was enlightening to hear the story of someone who faced such an awful experience with such an open minded attitude. The 'social norm' is to go to hospital at the first sign of something out of the ordinary, but Morrie decides to die at home, spending his final days with the people he loves. Saying such things as ""Mitch, I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each morning, a few tears, and that's all." (pg 57) Although I cannot promise I would face a disease like this with such complacency, I found it enlightening to see someone treat such a situation like this. Relating this a real life situation, Beth, a guest speaker came in and told of her husbands battle with cancer. As Beth told her story I sensed a medley of different emotions from denial of her husbands death and the nasty disease that took his like to shock of the diagnosis. I identified with everything she said, although I can't imagine the person I'd spent over two decades with not being there when I woke up everyday. Seeing this in real life reinforced the different ways in which people approach death. And unfortunately, although I would love for it to be this epiphany and an enlightening time, I think sadness would be the overwhelming emotion.

Paying for medical care - As Michael Moore has made clear to us in Sicko (although completely biased) the state of the healthcare system in America is a mess. The United States spends the most GDP on healthcare in the world, but still is plagued with mostly preventable deaths such as heart disease and diabetes as its biggest killers. You think that the Yanks would have learnt by there close neighbours, the Canadians. Tommy Douglas, the first person to introduce public healthcare to Canada is seen as the most important person in their history. But with 45 million people currently without healthcare in the US, its quite

obvious that they haven't.

As seen above the US has spent the most on healthcare for a decade and a half, but yet still the healthcare is still in the poor condition that is was in 15 years ago.

“Fixing our healthcare system as a whole is our primary challenge, and to make it happen you need to get engaged – to pound the pavement, get your hands dirty, endure real sacrifice, take on antiquated thinking and help lead the public debate.”

iilana Senator John Kerry quotes All eyes are now on Obama's healthcare reform. Five years from now, there's an excellent chance you won't have the same health insurance you have (or don't have) right now. That's because members of Congress are gearing up to reform the U.S. health care system, "and unlike in 1993 when then-first lady Hillary Clinton tried her hand at changing the medical system, this time the important players -- doctors, insurance companies, pharmaceutical manufacturers -- seem to be on board." (CNN.) Whilst nearly 46 million Americans have no insurance, a further 25 million more are underinsured. One major reason for this crisis is that many employers have stopped offering insurance to employees because of the high cost. In the United States, total health care spending was $2.4 trillion in 2007 -- or $7,900 per person -- according to an analysis published in the journal Health Affairs. ONe of the FAQ about Obama's healthcare reform is that of where the money is coming from. Whilst one option is to reduce tax deduction amongst high income Americans, which of course is unpopular amongst Republicans, another is to eliminate waste fraud and abuse in Medicare and Medicaid, which Obama believes which credit the system "hundreds of billions of dollars." One of the main improvments is the point that no insurance plan "would be able to deny coverage on the basis of pre-existing conditions," which means many Americans could get the healthcare that they are entitled to. Being Sick- I have always said that I never want to get old and frail and become a burden upon someone. When you hear children turning up their nose at 'speaking to Grandma' or dragging their feet because they have to go visit Granddad. I'm not sure whether this comes with getting old or just the person you are. I've just realised that I'm actually focusing more on getting old, rather than getting sick. But in some ways they are pretty similar. You get aches and pains. Things don't work the same as they used to. People have to come and visit you. You don't do the same things you used to. And you definitely have a different outlook on life. Wow that's depressing! Anyway, when i get older I intend on being exactly like my Grandma. Still with the grace, pride and fashion sense of a 30 year old, but with the dry, frank, i-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think humour you get with age.

HMW 24 #3

Throughout my Tuesdays with Morrie, I have learnt alot about myself. Through his unconventional insights about life and death I have learnt what is truely meaningful in life and how worthless everything but family, life and love is. Morries funeral was simple. He wanted no fuss as he didn't want others to mourn him. He had a ceremony when he was alive in which all his loved ones were to pay tribute to him. He cried. I cried. Everyone cried. But yet it was a cry of joy, not upset. I will miss Morrie, but I've been told to go to his grave to talk to him. And although this may be upsetting to others, it seems normal to me. Even comforting.

"As you grow old, you learn more. If you stayed twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not a decay you know, its growth." pg (118)
I loved the way that the author approached this. I think in todays society there is a growing fear of getting old. With woman in there 50's aspiring to look like they are in their twenty's with the use of plastic surgery and 'miracle creams' there is no longer such a concept as 'growing old gracefully.' Although I may feel different when I get older I'm confused as to why women do not embrace the knowledge and wiseness you obtain with age.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship" (pg 174) I wasn't sure whether the author was trying to say that although when you break up with someone it may feel like the end of the world, like your life has come crashing down, really the only defining end to life is death. As that is the only thing that can stop your world, and you will not understand that until you experience it yourself.

Reading this book has confirmed that there is no way I want to die of a disease. Although Morrie has dealt with his illness in an incredible way, I'm not sure I would have an epiphany like him. I think seeing my friends and family torn apart by watching my body slowly cripple would be heartbreaking and would rather just have an instant death.

HM 27

Unfortunately, well actually not unfortunately, I don't have anyone in the US I could visit that is sick or dying so I couldn't finish this homework. But instead I've decided to write about what I think about death, and how it's been changed by this unit.

To be honest I am scared about death. I could never embrace it like Morrie in 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and I don't think I could speak about it as freely as Evan's mum. I am scared about leaving the people I love or them leaving me. I don't want to sit in a nursing home, and reminisce about 'the good old days.' And I don't want to watch my body slowly cripple at the mercy of a disease.

Although I don't agree with the fact that talking about dying and death is sometimes taboo, I understand why it isn't. I've never experienced death until my Grandad died last year. He was like a father to me, and his disease seemed to creep up so quickly. No one tells you how to deal with death. Whether you'll be numb, whether you'll feel empty,upset. There is no guideline. And thats the hardest part. There are no rules to follow or expectancy to live upto, you have to deal with it in your own way.
I could never have gotten through my Grandad's death without having the comfort of thinking he was always watching over me, sending me signs from wherever he was. I feel sorry for people who do not have this comfort, and I think thats why most people turn to religion. For answers and guidance through a time where there is no clear path.
I have never really been around 'old' people persay, my Grandma is 67 and walks around with a Moschino bag, and still goes to bars with her friends. She's the strongest woman I know along with my mother and I could never imagine her being old and frail. So when I come across other grandparents, ones that spend there time knitting or eating toffees, it almost makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't really know how to deal with it.

I have always felt sympathetic towards the elderly. When I see them shuffling aimlessley in the street alone. Or sitting staring blankly. It makes me sad because I know one day I am going to be in their position. Maybe it's the fear of being alone that makes me scared about getting old. Because I don't think you would ever feel alone if you had the love of your life beside you. No matter what age. No matter how many grey hairs you had...

HMW 23 #2

Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom

As I get more deeply connected with Morrie on a personal and spritiual level, I can see that he is broadening my horizons. No longer do I find frivilous material possessions important, I am beginning to see things in a whole new light, and for that I have Morrie to thank.

"SOMETIMES YOU CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE, YOU MUST BELIEVE WHAT YOU FEEL. AND IF YOU ARE EVER GOING TO HAVE OTHER PEOPLE TRUST YOU, YOU MUST FEEL YOU CAN TRUST THEM TOO" (pg 61)

"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." This one was particularly enlightening to me as I feel this personifies the book, in that until you are given the ultimatimum of life being taken away from you, you do not understand truely how percious it is. Hence 'bucket lists' and people doing extraordinary things when they are given an ultimatimum, as they have a new found purpose in life. I don't think you can really appreciate the joy of life until your inhibitions and worries are forced out of the window.

As shown in the last quote I think the fragility of life has alot to do with how we treat it, as until we are shown just how easily it can slip away, we never appreciate it. Also, one of the rare good things that came out of Morries illness was that we learnt to trust people. As his body cripled under the sheer demand of the disease he was forced to rely on other people to do meanial, yet precious tasks. I think that the ability to trust someone, although at times may be percievced as weareing your heart on your sleeve is a skill that many of us can learn from. As sometimes we are so consumed in everyday pesimisim, we do not put faith in people.