1. The first thing that hit me was that the guest speaker had no insurance, as they were artists and self employed. Thus reslting in having to wait 11 months to gain the government health care that her family was entitled to. I found it enlightening though, that when her family eventually did gain the correct insurance, the nurses and medcine they recived could not have been better.
2. An aspect that made me sympathise with Ms Wood's story was that of time 'snowballing.' After my grandad was diagnosed two years seemed to fly by and you realise you can never have enough time with the ones you love.
3. As Wood told her story I sensed a medley of different emotion from denial of her husbands death and the nasty disease that took his like to shock of the diagnosis. I identified with everything she said, although I can't imagine the person I'd spent over two decades with not being there when I woke up everyday.
4. The 'honeymoon from death' which Wood talked about I was already familiar with me. You want to believe that your loved one will make a miraculous recovery and convince yourself that it will soon come. So you cling on to the slightest sign of recovery, and hope and pray with every inch of your body that it will go away and you will get better, but unfortunately, sometimes it's just another bump in the road.
5. Wood talked about seeking advice from a Buddhist monk about the afterlife and death. To me it seems like she was looking for an answer. I think it is simply human nature to want to understand and answer everything in life, and this is why people turn to religion. They want to believe that all their problems are part of some master plan, or that an all mighty being can simply fix them. I think this is where heaven comes into play. We don't want to believe the bleak, depressing reality of just laying 6 feet under when we die, as the idea of sitting a fluffy white cloud in heaven with everything we could ever want sounds so much better.
I believe in signs just like Wood, but I'm an agnostic. It would be lovely to believe that their is an idyllic place up in the sky where we all go when we die, but as my Grandma says, when something is too good to be true, it probably is. So I like to believe that my Grandad is still with me, he's still watching over me, and I still talk to him.
6. Wood described that she never used the word 'death' or 'dying' and although some may say that this is living in denial, others would argue that this is the way in which they wanted to deal with it. And rather than denying the truth, they rather put aside the depressing reality of death and decided rather to focus on the positive. Although I feel that we should face death and not be scared of it, I totally agree with embracing the positive in life and hoping for the best. Because at the end of the day if we don't have hope, what do we have?
After hearing the guest speakers story, a few questions came to mind.
- Is artificial life natural, and is it needed?
- Does religion help or hinder our ability to accept death?
- Is denial a bad thing, or does it keep hope alive?
- Why do we stick to the social norms because we agree with them or because its whats expected of us?
I thought the most interesting thing was when you described the things that people do when they are confronted by the death of someone they loved, such as denial and clinging to things that remind them of the person they loved. I liked this because I can relate to it. I have had to comfort people who have experienced deaths, and I know firsthand that they do a number of different things to keep themselves from losing it. I have also lost people that i was close to, and i have recognized some of the actions that i did as the actions that you described. I also thought that what you wrote about people depending on higher power for support was interesting. I think for the future, you could maybe add a little bit of detail, because at frist i wasnt quite sure what you were talking about. Other than that, it was good! :)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite point that you made was how we use religion to help us deal with death and dying because it gives a clear answer and makes our deaths significant. As you said, "We don't want to believe the bleak, depressing reality of just laying 6 feet under when we die, as the idea of sitting a fluffy white cloud in heaven with everything we could ever want sounds so much better." I can personally relate to this having been raised with a religious background. I recall having a conversation about death with my grandmother after telling her I had a recurring dream of her dying. This dream put me in instant tears every time I had it, especially because they seemed so vivid and real, but when I discussed them with my grandmother her reaction shocked me. She told me never to worry or be upset when she died because she knew she was headed to a better place. It was weird because she actually seemed excited about her own death, and she is very accepting of death in general. To be honest, when she told me this it did make me feel a lot better knowing my grandmother had a reserved spot for her in heaven. But unfortunately, I am very loosely religious, so I too question whether or not I use the idea of heaven as a crutch.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to point out that the amount of insight you put into this post went above and beyond the requirements and it proves how important this topic this is to you. It also shows the vast amount of ideas you have on the topic. I also want to say that your use of language is exquisite and that you have a very good sense of language beautification.
Amber,
ReplyDeleteI think you had some ideas here that were worth restating. to me the most powerful one was "We don't want to believe the bleak, depressing reality of just laying 6 feet under when we die." I think that because she never directly mentioned her fear of death for this reason, it was even more important, because this really is an idea that people don't ever really want to think about.
There was depth in your ideas and a lot of personal connections that made it seem like a topic that you really did care about and because of that it was reflected in your work
good job
-sam
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ReplyDeleteEven though the Grandad you talk about in this piece was my Father, it was actually-like other commentators-your remarks about religion that affected me most.
ReplyDeleteYou hit on a common philosophical theme. The idea of religion in relation to death. Even though I share your beliefs as an agnostic (believing in 'something' but unsure as to what) I accept and understand the reasons why people are religious.
The word 'crutch' was mentioned in one of the comments here. It's maybe too simplistic to see religion as merely a 'crutch' in relation to death? In a way I admire the strength of faith that allows people to (often unquestionably) believe in an afterlife. Sometimes I would go as far as to say I envy that faith. I do not possess it and maybe life and subsequently death would be easier if I did?
After my friend's Father died recently we had a conversation that made me realise I inhabit a middle ground between religious faith and Atheism. I have always believed that my Father's spirit is around me at all times and that he gives me signs and helping hands. He is my guardian angel I guess?
I told my friend this and she said she didn't believe in that. She just thought that her father lived and then he died and now he is in a hole in the gound. As cut and dried as that. She didn't believe in any kind of exisistence of his soul beyond death.
I felt sorry for her. Sorry that she didn't have what I have. Then I realised that maybe religious followers feel sorry for us agnostics. Then I went back to thinking about her pragmatic approach and if there was a crutch she was not using it and her belief in the least fantastical idea of all was the bravest of all beliefs.
The harsh, cold reality that the life we lead on earth leads to nothing after death...
Mum x