HM 27

Unfortunately, well actually not unfortunately, I don't have anyone in the US I could visit that is sick or dying so I couldn't finish this homework. But instead I've decided to write about what I think about death, and how it's been changed by this unit.

To be honest I am scared about death. I could never embrace it like Morrie in 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and I don't think I could speak about it as freely as Evan's mum. I am scared about leaving the people I love or them leaving me. I don't want to sit in a nursing home, and reminisce about 'the good old days.' And I don't want to watch my body slowly cripple at the mercy of a disease.

Although I don't agree with the fact that talking about dying and death is sometimes taboo, I understand why it isn't. I've never experienced death until my Grandad died last year. He was like a father to me, and his disease seemed to creep up so quickly. No one tells you how to deal with death. Whether you'll be numb, whether you'll feel empty,upset. There is no guideline. And thats the hardest part. There are no rules to follow or expectancy to live upto, you have to deal with it in your own way.
I could never have gotten through my Grandad's death without having the comfort of thinking he was always watching over me, sending me signs from wherever he was. I feel sorry for people who do not have this comfort, and I think thats why most people turn to religion. For answers and guidance through a time where there is no clear path.
I have never really been around 'old' people persay, my Grandma is 67 and walks around with a Moschino bag, and still goes to bars with her friends. She's the strongest woman I know along with my mother and I could never imagine her being old and frail. So when I come across other grandparents, ones that spend there time knitting or eating toffees, it almost makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't really know how to deal with it.

I have always felt sympathetic towards the elderly. When I see them shuffling aimlessley in the street alone. Or sitting staring blankly. It makes me sad because I know one day I am going to be in their position. Maybe it's the fear of being alone that makes me scared about getting old. Because I don't think you would ever feel alone if you had the love of your life beside you. No matter what age. No matter how many grey hairs you had...